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| So yesterday was Remembrance day...(btw it's considered a holiday in BC, why don't we have that in ON??) and I was glad to know that I had a full day in front of me to finish the paper I had due the next day.
I start off by going out for a morning swim. And as I walked past the bus stop, I saw some people standing there. So I thought "OH! the bus is coming soon, I should take it so I don't have to spend the time to walk to the pool". So there I waited and waited, and it never came. By then I got pretty irritated. I could've gotten there by now if I had walked! Turns out the buses went on a holiday schedule, so it comes only every hour.
As if the day isn't bad enough, when I took the bus to the school, I got on the bus at 11:00. So the bus driver decided to have a moment of silence on the bus. That took like 5 minutes
Finally, the bus started again...and what do you know...We soon find that the road in front of us was blocked because there was a memorial service going on the street!!!! So we waited and waited and waited...for a long while....and finally the bus driver found another route to go. My goodness...I was at school a lot, A LOT later than I planned. I had to get working on my paper!
So finally I finished by paper at night. I then ran out to catch the bus. And as I ran out, the grass was so slippery that I fell and got mud all over myself. And what do you know. The bus wasn't there. I think I missed it.
So I waited another hour for the next bus...only to find out that it was NOT COMING. The buses already stopped running because of the holiday schedule. Reflecting on this day I was almost in tears. What in the world is going on?!? Nothing seemed to be going right. It was reminded of what I heard recently in the conference. How the little annoying things in life might have its purpose.
You see, there was a man who left one of the towers during 911 because it was his turn to go out and buy donuts. Another person was late because he got a blister on his foot so he had to buy some band-aid before going to work. There were so many more stories of how people escape death because of something that happened. That really hit me.
So back to my story. What I didn't tell you was that during each of these annoying moments today, I actually prayed and asked God "Now what? What is the purpose of this" (Though I was frustrated beyond belief)
It's the most interesting thing. Because I was standing there waiting for bus in the morning, I got to talk to a chinese lady at the bus stop briefly. It wasn't profound. But perhaps I was the rare person who talked to her for a while since she doesn't know english.
Because I was on the bus when it was 11:00, I got to spend that time in silence. I got to pray for the veterans, something I wouldn't have done had I gone on the bus another time.
Because there was a memorial going on that blocked the street, I was able to hear someone singing "Amazing Grace" in such a beautiful voice outside of the church. Because all the buses stopped running. I actually called a friend to pick me up. We ended up going out for desserts and had a great time chatting =D
I dunno why I fell down and got all muddy though. But it's ok. haha. God made his point. Annoying things in life may have its role in something greater that I do not know!
And this goes beyond just the annoying thing. As I think about it now, I can't help but praise God how every little thing that has been going on since I came to Vancouver served its purpose. The people I met, the things they said to me, the client I have, the supervisor who taught me, the conferences I went to....EVERYTHING linked together somehow and were used as a way to teach me. It is honestly mind-boggling!! I never experienced seeing everything come together like that before.
Had I not decided to go somewhere, I wouldn't have met someone. If I hadn't met that someone I wouldn't have gone to a conference. If I hadn't gone to the conference, I woudln't have gone to another conference. If I hadn't gone to this other conference, I wouldnt' have been so convicted of something...and I wouldnt' have spoken to certain people about this conviction....
The list goes on.
So wow, you honestly never know how the little things that happen trigger a chain of events that lead to something amazing that you do not know! Just goes to show how limited we are in our view. And all we can do is hold onto God, trusting that by aligning ourselves to his ways, he will use us in unexpected ways, ways beyond anything we can imagine.
Hope you'll hold onto that when things don't happen the way you want it to go ~ ____________________________________________________________________ Btw, what I wrote in the last post might be really hard to understand. But you know what's interesting. Every person I talked to so far in person has been soooo on board when I told them what I learned. They understood COMPLETELY. It again boggles my mind how I'm surrounded by people who think like me, who support me, and connect with me. It's rare to find these kind of people. Yet I'm honestly surrounded by them here!!! Praise God. I can't thank Him enough.
So through these amazing people, I became even more convicted of this vision I have.
It's big. It's something that is set on my heart as something I need to carry out over time.
A friend said "Remember this burning in your heart now, stay with it" --> Yes, it will be tough to carry out this vision, so in those tough times I'll rely on this strong burden that I remember having. It'll be interesting to see how this will come about in the next few years...I'll have this post to reflect back on...and see just how far God has led me. Can't wait! Can you? ____________________________________________________________________ I'm amazed at the Power of God.
Recently in one of my session with my client, I got a glimpse into the overwhelming pain she was in. It's beyond words. Even I wanted to cry with her as she cried and cried and cried outloud.
She told me, it was only because of God's presence that she was able to live through it. And as I got her to sit there and bask in God's warmth, his presence, and his embrace. I saw her face completely change. It lit up, and she said "Oh it's beautiful"...In that moment I saw God's healing, comfort, his power. What a testimony. She testified to me the power of God in her life. I left the session speechless. It wasn't me who did anything. We both surrendered our time together to God. And I know that my task was just to walk with her. Walk alongside her as she revisits the tremendous brokenness in her life. And as we walk, we are guided by God's presence, fully trusting that ultimately he is the one who heals. He will bring healing into her life. I am in awe. | | |
| *WARNING* this will be a long post. Haha I realize this weekend I've become quite long-winded because of how much I've learned and how excited I am for the new things I've come to realize! So whenever I get a listening ear, I just go on and on ....lol XD Feel so bad for my parents...I just kept talking even though it was past their sleeping time ....hahha....So now I get to spill it all out too on this blog - to you =) This weekend I went to Vancouver, and the main purpose was to go for the "Rapid reponse team" training
Basically, the Rapid response team started during 911, when Christians went to pray and care for the people in that city. But what they realized was that their volunteers were not adequately equipped with the knowledge of trauma. How do you respond appropriately? What should you do / what should you not do? ..so they started providing training for people --> And so this is what I attended this weekend. Friday night The training was called "His presence in crisis" - captured our role perfectly - we are God's presence for people in their time of crisis! And this is exactly what counselling to me is about too...that through the counselling session, God's presence is evident through me - to be the heart and compassion of Christ.
It's amazing hearing this lady speak...she spoke of the times when she was drawn to talk to people on the streets - typically, each one would be heavily intoxicated...she would be there to listen to their life story. And as soon as they got to share their past hurts and pains...their strong front broke down and she described how each one seemed to have reverted back to their 5 years old self - vulnerable, lost, shaken. At this, I thought back to earlier that day when I was trying to commute out to Vancouver on the skytrain. For some odd reason, all the people on my side of the train was gone. So at the next stop, a huge group of guys came in. They sat all around me. Wow that was so freaky. I felt soooo unsafe. These guys were like swearing for every other word....and like taking out their drinks on the skytrain and passing it around to drink...One of them made the comment to their buddy "Hey, your date got you a subway, but she ate it" (He was referring to me because I was just eating my subway). Honestly I was so scared. But as this lady talked about how broken these people are, I find myself feeling such a burden for them now. I wonder what each of these guys are going through? I wonder how their families doing? I wonder if they have unbearable hurts that they can't express so they pretend nothing is going on by toughing it out....and drinking all their cares away. Oh~ how I feel for them. And how many of them are out there right now....*side note* (I recently learned there are at least 20 alcohol anonymous groups running every single night of the week in Langley alone. Think about it. To have that many groups, how many people are actually struggling with alcohol addiction???) Another story that really hit me:
She went to Native person's home...and he was really drunk. She saw in the house a woman who passed out with a black eye (abuse). When the woman did manage to get up again, she started looking for a smoke...so she went through their pile of cigarette buds in the ashtray, trying to find one that she could still use to smoke. When she found one...(and it was the last one), the man was so angry that he wanted to beat her up again (with the lady in the house at that moment!). So this lady actually was compelled by God to stand between them. And this was amazing because she was abused badly as a kid...so for her to do that, she definitely did it with a power beyond her. She said, "You will not touch her in the name of Jesus" And wow...after this, the lady was able to share about God to them. And the beaten up woman actually said "God loves you" to the man who abused her so badly. He completely broke down crying. And at that, healing came into their relationship. Wow ~
God honestly works beyond my imagination. And the amazing things he does through people who are faithful to him! Sat - All day Soooo much happened this day...info overload! But it was SO good. dunno where to start explaining.... I learned so much about trauma...and all that I learned made me understand what I'm learning at school so much more. And I was able to have greater insights for my clients' situation...and this training definitely triggered something in me - I'm sensing more and more and specific calling and direction God wants me to go. I think this paragraph will show you what's burdening me:
This is what someone said after her husband died:
"The minister called me the other day and told me I should be grateful that I've got the children to look after me and that they should remind me of my husband. He said that God is good, but he doesn't know what it is like for me. If God is good, why does He allow such awful things to happen? Life is so unfair! But why bother, and what does it matter anyway? If there is a God and He does things like, then I don't want to know him" This probably captures the reaction of a lot of Christians who just experienced some kind of crisis, trauma....their world is shattered. They're made aware of their finiteness, their vulnerability, how death is around the corner. In the midst of such chaos....for some reason we tend to tell people what the minister in this situation said: "It's ok, God has a plan for it. Pray about it."
Yes, that is true. But at the same time, that is not what people can readily accept at that moment. Saying these things actually tells them to shut down their emotions. Essentially, we're implying, "get over it". So people think, "Alright, I should not feel upset. Afterall, God should sustain me". Yes, God will sustain you, but it doesn't mean you can't feel upset! But somehow in churches we silence people from having the permission to express their feelings - their feelings of anger, confusion, hopelessness, depression.
"We encourage numbing in church...the traumatized individual should appear normal". This phrase hit me hard. In our efforts to comfort people by telling them the great hope we have in God, we actually end up not letting people feel - not letting them say just how angry they are, not letting them express how hard it is to keep trusting in God. The fear is...if they express these things, it might be perceived as a lack of faith. How many times do we hear this. "You just need to trust in God" As a result, we think people should always be fine; and we encourage people to suppress their emotions and put on a happy face. There's a silencing that prevents people from saying just how much they are struggling. Especially with issues at home - relationship conflicts, strained parent-child relationship. We can't share these things...because afterall " we should have it altogether if we have God". NO. The reality is, life is hard. It does bring confusion, chaos and lots of emotions. What God has provided us is the community and His spirit to bring us through these hard times. Yes, he does change life in unbelievable ways...so that sorrow can be turned to joy...and anger to forgiveness. But it doesn't mean we should never experience these emotions in the first place!
This silencing is especially evident in Chinese churches...and so my burden has become even more specific to the Chinese population. I've noticed that Chinese churches are even less tolerant of these negative emotions. On top that we seem to have a huge stigma against receiving counselling...or just admitting we have some emotions needs. "No things are fine....no, things should be kept in the family" (don't want to let others know what's happening because it's shameful. So you'll notice that Chinese churches don't address the fact that there are many hurting people in the congregation! The caring team....who does it care for? Newcomers! Are we aware that the person sitting beside us in the santuary could possibly be struggling with depression? With gambling issues? With marital problems? Why are we so slow to addressing these needs? Actually we're not slow. We don't even acknowledge they exist amongst us. Ok, you probably can sense I'm starting bubble up here. What I mean is, we really need to bring what is valuable in psychology...all that I'm learning...into the church. As a church, we need to be aware of how to meet people's emotional needs. Even learning how to listen....(oh~ how we need to learn how to listen)...and becoming aware of what depression is....and have people equipped so that they can care and serve as God's presence in the midst of crisis. People who will walk alongside hurting people....and by them walking alongside them....the hurting will see...that God has been there to sustain them through all along. That in their suffering, God made himself evident because of those in the church who were willing to be there for them.
It really saddens me though to think that many stop going church because of this issue. They can't keep up with the idea that "They should feel renewed in God" when they are honestly feeling crappy inside. The incongruence and then the perceived inability to change their feelings brings them to quit going to church. By leaving, at least they can get rid of that incongruence. But in reality, what they need is to have people be with them as they work through the crappiness they feel inside. To be given grace, patience, love, understanding. That "It's ok...what you're experiencing is hard...and life right now is not meant to be perfect. But what God has given us in his providence is the strength to go through this hard time. And I'm with you to go through it together." ~ This is what we need to say. I'll give you an example to put it more concretely. I met someone at the conference who told me that her father died when she was very young. Yet she was never given a chance to grieve over it, so she just suppressed her emotions down and moved on with life. But these emotions surfaced again, and it surfaced because of a miscarriage she had. At that time she was just overwhelmed. She described herself as being stuck. And even though she went to church and heard all these sermons and verses of comfort. She couldn't feel it. It didnt' ring true for her even though she knows it to be true in her mind. It was so good that someone normalized going to counselling for her...so that she could just reprocess all that has happened...and it is a sense of release, to be able to cry, be frustrated, be confused. And after that release, God's words could finally infiltrate and go beyond mind to the heart. Not sure how many of you understand this vision. But it has become so strong after this conference. This is big...and I actually have no idea how to go about it...but this is just the first step. It's planted in me...and then God will carry it out. Somehow people will be mobilized...and something will happen! So I'll be waiting for this to unfold, just like how God has been unfolding other things in my life =) | | |
| I've always wanted to write about this but kept forgetting to. But watching the cute kids yesterday wearing their adorable costumes for Halloween reminded me about this topic!
I've been going swimming a few times a week to get some exercise. Never really liked going swimming because it's so much of a hassle...but I'm starting to like it a lot since it is probably the only kind of exercise where I can peacefully pray while doing it! haha. Really a good time for me to sort through my thoughts and just restore a sense of calmness. So I was swimming one time and beside my lane was a father and his son (prob around 1 1/2). Just adorable. He was wearing his diaper! XD hahaha.
And what's even cuter was how much fun he was having...jumping off the side of pool and into his father's arms (repetitively). It didn't even occur to him that he doesn't know how to swim, or how dangerous the water can be. All he knows is just how fun it is to fly into the arms of someone he trusts, someone he knows will catch him.
For some reason moments like this just melts my heart =) I love watching parent-child interaction. My landlord's friend came over to bring her daughter trick-or-treating in our neighbourhood. She's such a cute little girl wearing her princess costume. Oh ~ the things that she say...it's so funny XD. She was trying to throw out garbage but couldn't find the garbage can. So her mom told her to put it on the counter. And she's like "I don't see the counter!" in that cute little voice. And she kept walking around the kitchen saying “I don’t see the counter mommy!” XD. She actually didn’t know what a counter is. Just the innocence of that age makes me smile. Watching kids always makes me yearn for a family of my own. And I've always said that even if I don't get married, I would definitely be a foster parent or adopt a kid. It seems like such a joy to be a parent, watching your own kid grow up, learn things, and just having that dependence on you. Now I've had comments from ppl before saying I'll make a great mother. Even my client said that to me in the first session O__O. So surprised. But when it comes down to actually having my own child, I really wonder how well I would parent eh? Even if I've learned about children and can suggest ppl what to do, does it really mean I can translate that to reality for myself? Hmm..I don't think I know fully just how tough it can be. Same with marriage as well. There's probably a lot more to having a family that I don't know about. So all this is to say...I pray that God will continue showing me areas of growth so I can be better prepared to be a parent. Really like a quote I read somewhere “The best tool of parenting is godliness”. Not techniques, not knowledge - but just a full submission to God. Submit myself and submit the child.
There's no denying that kids remember your actions, they see in your life whether you honour God or not. And how you live your life is what inspires them. The sermon this past Sunday was such a great reminder – for our love to abound more and more. That in our abundance in love for others, the reality of God becomes evident. It becomes undeniable evident to our friends, our co-workers, our family
“There’s nothing like a changed life to tell the truth” May my life always reveal the truth. ____________________________________________________________________________
Oh another random thought.
Take some time to notice how often your body betrays you and tells people how you really feel. Especially for myself, if I'm feeling uneasy I would start shifting and you'll just see it in my face and body language. I can't hide anything! If you ever notice people beyond what they just say in words, you might catch there's some inconsistency or there's a lot more than what they just said!
I actually have a nervous laughter thing going on a lot of times - so if you ever hear me do that, you'll know I'm hiding something. hahah there - you know the key to getting at my secrets. =P ___________________________________________________________________________ PS – For those who wants to read the paper I wrote, I’ll send it over later! Thanks for wanting to read my thoughts =) Oh~ and also today I tried to get hugs from the dog. But after I hugged her she ran away =( ....so rejected. hahhaa | | |
| Hello friends~ Anyone getting worried that they haven't heard from me for a while? hahaha. a lot has happened since last time. But I'll just update the essentials. (haha hopefully. You know how I can end up ranting real long) Community Being connected really matters to me...and especially being in a new place, it's been hard to discern where I should plug myself in. I've been meeting SO many new people. So many that it's been draining. I couldnt' keep track of who's who and who did what. And I was honestly sick of introducing myself and having surface talk. But that's how it's like to be in a completely new place...but yea...by now this phase of meeting new people is slowing down. And I am now starting to build on friendships I have.
One thing I realized I'm missing here is a sense of being known. Back at home, I have people who know me, who know how I am like. And say things like "That's so you." or "I can see you doing that". But here, no one knows me, they are only in the process of knowing me. In that sense, it can be quite lonely. But baby steps right? At least now I'm really narrowing down on certain people I know I can develop deeper relationships with. Going to start a small group with some girls in my program =) very excited. I know good times will come from that as we share, pray together and even bring up issues that are specific to our program. The thing I'm excited about is praying for the clients. We're not counselling people out of our own power! There is such a need to surrender to God and ask that he'll inspire us with the way to go. Another thing is being more connected with the mandarin fellowship. I'm really pleased that I'm picking up what they are saying more and more. I hope I can actually speak it one day =P hahah...but at least I don't feel that lost or disconnected when I'm amongst them. Also beginning to meet more people from church and through friends of friends.
As I reflect back on all the people I met, I realized a very astounding thing - just how much these people are so devoted to God!! I'm surrounded by truly God-fearing Christians who connect with me on this level. WOW amazing. I'm truly surrounded by a Christian community. And I can already name people right away that I know I can trust...and I know that I can get godly, wise, biblical advice from them. I am well supported! A lot more than I thought I was. School The main reason why I haven't been updating is because of all the school working coming along. My goodness, it's actually very tiring and draining even though it is exactly what I want to learn. I think what's hard about it is how it's not easy to master. As I'm learning each technique, each new skill, it takes time to process and then use it in practice as I counsel people. But before I could master one thing, they teach another! Oh man. I think that's what's hard. It's a snowballing effect....just wishing things can slow down and I can take a breath. Another thing is how I'm confronted with my weaknesses. I see just how bad I am in talking. I dunno if it has always been this way. But for some reason, when I don't process what I want to say, it comes out all strange. I would mumble...and speak in a circle before getting to my main point. I just can't say things in a crisp, concise, articulate way. It's horrifying watching my own counselling sessions. I'm just like "what in the world am I trying to say???"
I'm surprised how people even have the patience to listen to me talk sometimes.
So it was good today when I was counselled by a classmate on this issue. Really helped me learn to relax and just fight that nervousness I have in talking. I think my anxiety and fear of not making sense is the problem. If I had more confidence, I do make more sense. hahha. So hopefully I can learn to articulate myself better. And really I just need more practice asking questions in counselling. You see, the questions in counselling are not what you would typically ask people in your everyday life. Questions like - "What was it like for you to say these things just now" or "Where do you feel that in your body? ". Strange isn't it. So it really takes practice to master and make these kind of quetsions natural in my counselling sessions Another thing I'm discovering is just how rational I am. haha. I think I knew it all along since I hear it from my mom alot. But in this program, I see it even more. What I mean by rational is that I wouldnt' let myself experience negative emotions for too long. I would find a way to intellectually reason myself so I don't feel it anymore. In that way, I might be suppressing some emotions that should have been voiced. Not that rationalizing is not good, but I guess I need the healthy balance of acknowledging that it's ok to feel crappy sometimes. And just allowing myself to feel it rather than brushing it off quickly. (hmm I think I already said this in an earlier post didn't I? hahah. But anyways it's been a repetitive theme) Along this theme of being rational, I think this program has helped me appreciate more and more the importance of dwelling in feelings. How to help people dwell in it...and give them time to express it. I guess in this society we are all taught to be rational...to just get moving and don't stay stuck in what you're feeling for too long. So in therapy, it is so important to give people that opportunity to work through these emotions and express it. Never thought it's so crucial to people's wellbeing. But yea...cool that this is main part of the work that we do. Client I honestly love talking to my client. I always wish I can do more for her though...just seems that my poor ability to articulate myself or think quickly on the spot makes me miss the opportunities I could have seized in the session to help her more. There are so many things I just let it past when it would have been perfect to ask a certain thing. I really need more awareness. But sadly I think that's what I'm weak at as well...I'm just not a very observant and aware person =( I'm also thankful that this client is also very suitable for me. What I mean is that she's someone who needs to dwell in her feelings. And given how rational I am, it's good to be paired up with her so it forces me to learn how to help people bring up feelings. amazing how she's "the perfect client" for me in that way. Conference Recently I went to a conference called One Voice. It's main purpose is to mobilize Christians as a united body to reach out to people, especially during the Olympics. It's amazing! I didnt' know that behind the Olympic games, people are actively using this opportunity to bring people to God. Afterall, the world is coming to us isn't it? We want to make God's love evident in this city, and it starts with each one of us.
So what I see myself doing is using my education for the people. There's something called the Billy Graham Rapid Response team. Not exaclty sure what it is. But it's a team of people who is there to pray and talk with people who need it. That sounds like the perfect place for me to use what I'm learning! =)
Great place to see how I can use my education in conjunction with evangelism. That through praying and caring for others, people can experience God's love. Gonna go for their training the next weekend! Anticipating good things from it! Interaction between church & counselling Remember how I asked the question before - do we really need counselling? Is having the church community supposed to be enough? Or has the church failed so we need counselling now Well I finally finished the paper on this topic. So good that I finally worked through it after reading a book and talking to some people. So if you're interested to read it, write me an email and I can send you my paper! It is quite long though - 12 pages (double spaced). It's not a hard read though! hahah so I promise you it won't be painful =P _________________________________________________ Alright, I think that about sums up what I want to say hahhaa.... Ooo one last thing - I really can't wait to come back in DEC!! really miss everyone =) especially want to get some hugs. I think I'm hug deprived these days (this is what happens when you dunno ppl enough so it's weird to get hugs from them). hahaha. but slowly there are ppl I can hug now and not feel awkward XD. I think I need to buy a "hug me" shirt and wear it when I come home. =) | | |
| #1) Need for life to slow down Recently I've been having a real disatisfied feeling but I just couldn't put my finger on what exactly is bugging me. So it's great to be counselled by classmates, hahah helped me better process my thoughts.
So this is what I kept thinking - "I dun like how time is passing by so fast"
And from there I think I started to figure out what's bugging me. I really dun like how my life keeps changing completely all the time. Especially now. Being in a new place with no familiar place...it makes it more concrete that I'm "at a new phase of life". Sure it is exciting how I get to hv new experiences...it's exciting to see what's ahead. But it really is coming too fast.
I wish that I can slow down and really develop the friendships that I have deeply...rather than moving quickly through all of them. When I thought about my friendships with ppl...I know there are many ppl I love and appreciate. But why does it seem like circumstances always stop us from continuing to keep up with each other? Each of us keep moving on to different things...and in the end we're left with the good memories we had. But we're unable to keep up with the way things were. I guess that's really just the reality of how things are sometimes eh? It really didn't seem too long ago when I first started undergrad...and now I have to start this process all over again. And then in two years it'll have to change again. Change is good. But right now change is just coming too quick and too frequently. You know what I would love to do....actually go on a trip with friends. I never got a grad trip =( Never got to have a break either. Come to think of it. I think I've been doing school non-stop for 2 years already. And now it'll be another 2 non-stop O___O ....Oh my.... No wonder I really want things to slow down. I want to travel! And you know the sad thing is...I dun think I can go home for Christmas...since the tickets are so expensive. Maybe I should travel during Christmas, but sigh I really want to travel with ppl from back home (yes, with u! =P) Someone come over here to travel with me? hahah I really miss all your familar faces. ____________________________________________________________________________ #2) God works, even through models~ Also wanted to blog about this a while back. So I was just watching America's next top model.
One girl was revealing to another girl during the show that she had a real rough past...abused and in violent relationship. Becaues of that, she's developed a really tough personality, ppl see a very harsh and unfriendly exterior. And that hard exterior is evident in the pictures she takes as well. (This is especially difficult for her when the show needed the girls to smile with their eyes). So what's his name....the guy who helps her girls in the photo sessions...asked her "Alright what makes you smile?" I was so surprised.
She said "Jesus".
"Alright," he said "Tell me about Jesus"
She went on explaining how He was the one who really helped her through the abuse she experienced.
And it's amazing...that when she talked about Jesus, her face did light up...and it immediately softened up her hard exterior. And even the guy said that it was evident in her photos =D I'm so glad that even in this show, a glimpse of how God works can be seen. She was able to be a witness to the power that God has in transforming our lives. Hope that some ppl who watched this episode caught this msg =). God does change us in amazing ways. _____________________________________________________________________________ Now this brings me to another thought!
#3) Not really Chinese
So recently I decided to go to a chinese worship night on campus. I've been so asian-deprived I was pretty desperate to meet some chinese ppl. Hmm...pretty werid though, I actually felt like I didn't belong there. Now I realize how non-Chinese I am.
I was greeted by ppl speaking to me in Mandarin =___=. And so I really felt like a foreigner...struggling to translate all the mandarin to cantonese...and struggling to sing the worship songs they sang. Actually the whole atmosphere is so diff from what I'm used to. Maybe it's cuz the worship songs are so diff from eng worship songs....so I felt like I dun fit there at all. I do have to say...I'm so pleased with how God uses this group on campus though. They're a group that really tries to reach out to the international students that go to the school. It does get really lonely going to a completely different country, with a completely different culture. And by having this group, ppl can find a home...and for many of them, they experience God's power through this community. It was great to hear testimonies of how ppl came to believe in God through this group!
After this meeting, I really had an identity crisis. I don't completely belong to the Chinese group, but I dun completely belong to the mainstream western culture either. It was such a weird feeling. So here in Langley, I honestly feel like I'm in my own unique culture...I think I need frequent trips to Vancouver to stabilize myself XD
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Side note: I hv no idea how my posts get to long. I honestly intended this to be a short one =S hahhaha. Again, thanx for reading.
And remember - you can't comment unless you have xanga. Sorry if u ever had a huge msg and end up not being able to comment =( | | |
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